READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
