the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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