3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
