So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't deserve a penis
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
