let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
