YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
