you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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