As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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