at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
