He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
