new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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