I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
