If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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