I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I will pee on everything he values.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
