I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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