I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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