No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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