thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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