alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
