Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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