problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The feeling are messing with the penis
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize
