We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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