No more Irish car bombs ever.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
