I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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