Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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