she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
