o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
