I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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