Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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