The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
