My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
