I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
