Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
