do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
