I wanna passion pit in your ass
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
