So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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