my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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