i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
