I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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