Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
