We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
