I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
