forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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