Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize