Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize