Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
