Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
