i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
