I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I could fuck to npr.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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