He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
