now i know why i became what i already was.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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