I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
