he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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