if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
