i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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