Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i now understand why vodka
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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