remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just gift wrapped bread.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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