just survived the first fart of the relationship.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
