please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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